I've heard all the reasons for not going to church - I can experience God anywhere, too much hypocrisy, it's boring, it's not relevant, it hasn't kept up with social patterns, etc. - and I've probably uttered more than a few variations of the above comments myself.
But even if all the above reasons to not to go to church are true in varying degrees, don't you suspect, in light of human nature, some of the objections are simple rationalizations based on people having different interests and priorities? It sounds better to say I don't attend church because it isn't what it's supposed to be rather than I want to go to the lake or get to the game in time for tail-gating.
Interestingly, a lot of religious thinkers are the ones that speak most negatively about the church as problematic, including the charge that church is just too religious. (Okay. I know I'm more spiritual if I say Christianity is a relationship not a religion, but ... just saying.) I'm not sure that persona of honest transparency and sophisticated thought does anything to fix real and perceived problems or attract new attenders - and the self-flagellation is possibly more effective at pushing even more once-regular attenders away. If it's that bad, why go?
One local church in my metropolitan advertises on the radio that they are the church for people that don't like church because they don't like church either. (My paraphrase, but fairly close.) My guess is if you attend there it will actually feel a lot like ... uh, church. I asked someone that attends and they confirmed there is a sermon, some singing, an offering, encouragement to join a small group and other things that sound an awful lot like every church I've ever attended, despite the promise of this being something entirely different. The person I asked was quick to point out they are very friendly. I've gone to lots of very friendly churches. Maybe you can drink coffee and wear shorts in the sanctuary but I forgot to ask. But what I find interesting is that in order to invite new people to come to their church, a church would use a marketing premise that basically says many other churches aren't very good places to be. Arrogant? Irresponsible?
By the way, I know some preachers preach better and some worship leaders lead music better. Some teachers teach better if you got to a Bible class. Some facilities are much better too. But without throwing a guilt trip out there, shouldn't some of the appeal to attend church be based on what you bring to the table? (Literally.) Oh, and, shouldn't we regularly show up at a place that emphasizes the importance of God even if some humans facilitate a more conducive setting to experiencing God than others? And on the subject of guilt, I'm not going to bring up what a casual to negligent attitude toward attending church says to the kids.
My point is that some of the most dismissive critics of the church take for granted their own church upbringing. They have a base of understanding and nurture where they don't have to attend a Bible study or hear a sermon to know quite a lot about God and Jesus Christ and the Bible, but they sure aren't encouraging someone with no (or limited) religious framework to experience corporate Christian fellowship sufficiently to make up their own minds. At least give someone an opportunity to reject Christ and Christians without warning them off before they show up.
I understand your church experience may have been crummy. I'm sure there's been abuse, hypocrisy, irrelevance, and so forth. But where else are you going to go?
I'm not trying to be holier-than-thou. I confess I've gone to church many times with less than stellar motives and attitudes. But sometimes something special has happened for me despite myself.
I think the writer of Hebrews - who was alarmed that the church of his day was losing its faith - has something powerful to say those of us who have spiritually evolved enough to claim church attendance as an optional activity:
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:24-24, NIV
