self promotion: I wanna talk about me

How many times can I work in a reference to Toby Keith's big hit, "I wanna talk about me"? Funny song and a great reminder straight from Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People - everyone wants to get a word in edge-wise. It also raises the question of self-promotion with people you know.

So when promoting your activities - particularly with friends - particularly in the social media age we live in - how much is too much? not enough? orjust right?

Be aware you will always get one of three responses:

• Anything you say to promote yourself will be too much with some.
• Others sincerely want to know what you're doing. 
• Still more aren't going to notice anything you say anyway - so who cares?

Of course some argue the issue on moral grounds, pointing out that humility is a God ordained virtue and boasting is sinful. The counterpoint is that followers of God should be bold and believe in what they are doing; they ask the question, if you don't believe in yourself and what you're doing, who else should and will?

There is obviously no single answer. You can already read my mind on the topic. My typical response: the answer is yes and no, more and less.

Better go with your own comfort level, but know you can't control your intended responses no matter how careful or capricious you are. My simple counsel - as much a reminder to myself as a word to anyone else - is:

1. keep a spirit of humility and sense of humor - your project is not the center of the universe or a matter of life and death for others - even if your cause is life and death.
2. do not overdo it lest you become a nuisance - the rule of thumb for Facebook and other high relationship networks is three times a week; Twitter unlimited.
3. same as general conversation, make sure you listen as much as you speak - do you know what others are up to?
4. if you are on social media, at least in part, to promote something you are doing, be sure to return the favor to others.
5. keep it "soft sell" as most people don't like to be pushed.

book review: istanbul passage: joseph kanon

Istanbul in World War II? Whose side were they on? Allies or Axis? No peeking!

I'll admit, until I picked up Kanon's post WWII novel I didn't know either. As a city straddling two continents with competing histories from the East and West, no surprise they were neutral.

Their geography also made it not surprising that they were a shipping and smuggling center for both sides. I was surprised to learn that for much of WWII they were the safest transfer link in smuggling Jews from Europe to Palestine.

Leon, an ex-pat American businessman - he buys Turkish tobacco -  has run low level operations - errands might be the better word for it - for the Americans and Allies. With Germany's surrender, he is asked to take on one more assignment. The more he is told how simple and safe it will be, the more he knows something big is afoot. He just needs to meet a small boat at the docks, take the passenger to a safe house, ask no questions, and deliver him to an airfield a few days later.

He escapes the ambush with the passenger alive - and quickly learns that the world political conflict has shifted between the US and Soviet Union. He has no one to trust - and both of the surviving superpowers, along with his Turkish hosts suspect he knows more than he is letting on.

Leon visits his Jewish wife - who is tucked in a sanatorium - every day - she hasn't spoken since a ship with children she was trying to save was sunk. Will he find answers in the silence?

Kanon is a great wordsmith - his almost drawl understated style ratchets up the internal highly reflective conflict of sorting through the shifting sands of friends and enemies on personal - and geopolitical - levels.

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Mark Gilroy is author of the critically acclaimed novel Cuts Like a Knife. His second novel, Every Breath You Take, releases on October 23, 2012. A 30-year veteran of the publishing industry, he has served as publisher and executive vice president at several companies and currently runs a company that services retailers, publishers, ministries, and other organizations in the industry.

10 signs football is upon us

10. every morning at 6:30 your house's windows shudder and shake unevenly from the percussion section of local high school marching band practice - six miles away.

9. coverage of the US presidential election and European bailouts drop to pages four and five respectively when the USA Today NFL preview edition hits newsstands.

8. ESPN begins advertising the two-hour pre preseason special guide to new fall beer commercials.

7. a stack of decade-old-plus t-shirts your spouse, girlfriend or mom has been asking you to get rid of is carefully boxed and carried to the crawl space - and replaced by a box of decade-old-plus sweatshirts your spouse, girlfriend or mom had been asking you to get rid of that was carefully stored in the crawl space.

6. you are momentarily overcome by a light-headed giddy sense of euphoria that you won't have to watch any more baseball games to get a sports fix until the World Series is played sometime during football season in what appears to be blizzard conditions.

5. colleges and universities allow young people that are are into extracurricular activities like "pursuing a degree"and "hitting the library"back on campus in time for the first football game of the year.

4. you realize you know the first and middle names of every member of the offensive line of your alma mater even if you can't get first names of your own kids right every time.

3. ignoring pain from bunions and planter fasciitis you have your youngest child hold a football vertically on the ground so you can see if you can still kick a game-winning field goal as measured by the back of your garage roof.

2. you call your niece - at her father's and fiance's request - to see if you can talk her out of that Saturday afternoon wedding in the fall she is considering.

1. as you stretch out the inflamed rotator cuff and extend the half-locked knee joint, you think back fondly on all your old football injuries - even if you never played the sport.

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Mark Gilroy is author of the critically acclaimed novel Cuts Like a Knife. His second novel, Every Breath You Take, releases on October 23, 2012. A 30-year veteran of the publishing industry, he has served as publisher and executive vice president at several companies and currently runs a company that services retailers, publishers, ministries, and other organizations in the industry.

book review: the long goodbye by raymond chandler

Once a decade I get an irresistible urge to revisit the hardboiled crime noir classics I was introduced to in high school but didn't appreciate at the time.

My latest binge included Jim Thompson's The Killer Inside Me, Kenneth Fearing's The Big Clock, James Ellroy's LA Confidential, James M. Cain's The Postman Always Rings Twice, Dashiell Hammett's The Maltese Falcon, and two books from Raymond Chandler.


Particularly with Ellroy, Hammett, and Chandler, their anti-hero heros are troubled, rebellious, and cynical - but can't ever escape from that ember of honor and hope smoldering deep inside. The authors paint a dark, bleak picture of the underbelly of society - usually LA. Why LA? Why not LA? Where the lights shine brightest the shadows cast deep and wide.

Their outlook was shocking when they wrote their novels - especially Thompson when he wrote from the killer's perspective - but is standard fare today. (Today, you might need to write with a positive buoyancy to shock people!)

I still read crime novels, but I'm not sure anyone has really bested the patron saints, Hammett and Chandler. That begs the question, who had the greatest character? Was it Sam Spade or Philip Marlowe?

I like both characters - but Marlowe is my favorite and I believe he was at his best in The Long Goodbye - which just edged The Lady in the Lake in my mind.

Marlowe befriends Terry Lennox - wealthy but haunted by his demons from serving in war and by the escapades of his nymphomaniac wife. No good deed goes unpunished and soon both the cops and the gangsters are after Marlowe when he begins to investigate the death of Lennox's wife after being told to back off. Telling Marlowe to back off is like pouring gasoline on a fire.

Rereading Chandler is a graphic reminder that California has always had problems - and a guilty pleasure from an era of tough guys, dames in distress, partnerships between the gangsters and dirty cops, and the discovery that even heros have flaws.


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Mark Gilroy is author of the critically acclaimed novel Cuts Like a Knife. A 30-year veteran of the publishing industry, he has served as publisher and executive vice president at several companies and currently runs a company that services retailers, publishers, ministries, and other organizations in the industry.