We'll Be Friends Forever

My wife Amy's grandmother, Ora Zimmerman Knies, died in her sleep on June 11, 2010. Three days later we gathered at Memaw's funeral mass held at St. Stephen Catholic Church in Hermitage, Tennessee. She was survived by her three "boys," 11 grandchildren, 22 great grandchildren, and 19 great great grandchildren. She just missed holding a fifth generation of babies, with one of the great great's due to have a child in a few weeks when she passed away.

Beyond savoring the memories and bonds of love and family, anyone who attended her funeral couldn't help but reflect on all that Memaw had seen in her 109 active and colorful years of life. She was born January 13, 1901 - the year the first radio receiver picked up a transmission. Had she entered the world just two weeks earlier she would have been alive during three of the centuries of the Christian Era calendar.

Ora was born in the Territory of Oklahoma - it would not be admitted to statehood for another six years - and traveled crosscountry by horse-drawn carriage as a young girl when her family moved to Winchester, Tennessee.

The array of inventions and developments she witnessed in her lifetime is mind boggling - from the Wright Brothers engine powered airplane to commercial air travel and rockets and man landing on the moon; from the newspaper to the radio and on to the television, which itself morphed from black and white to technicolor with hundreds of stations; from the first Model-T rolling off the assembly line in Detroit in 1908 to the interstate highway system of the Eisenhower era; from penicillin and bubble gum in 1928 to the atomic bomb during World War II.

She witnessed the two world wars with Germany - the first by radio only and the second by radio and television. The day after her death, Governor Phil Bredesen of Tennessee landed in Germany to meet with Volkswaagen officials to discuss manufacturing opportunities in his state.

The United States of America has had 44 presidents in its history. Memaw lived during the presidency of 20 of them, from McKinley to Obama, and including her favorite, JFK.

Ora lived alone in her own house until 103, when she entered an assisted living facility. Her flower and vegetable gardens are still legendary. She drove her car for the last time on her 100th birthday. She did not hand the keys to her sons readily or happily and it took her a few years to forgive them - even though, according to the daughters-in-law, Memaw was pretty certain her boys had never really done anything wrong in life. She finally had to quit bowling in the Madison Bowling League when she was past the age of 100 due to hip problems.

Memaw's last visit to our home was Christmas 2008 and she had a marvelous time, particularly looking through family photo albums. Amy had made memory books for Bo and Zach on their football seasons and after studying them several times, Ora proclaimed she was now a football fan. In fact, she wished she had learned to play. Her one complaint about her assisted living residence was the food. She loved to have a home cooked meal and she participated in the preparation for Christmas Dinner by making her much requested peanut butter fudge. She sat by me at dinner and told me numerous times that we would be friends forever.

We all know that how we live our lives is what matters most. But most of us still have a fondness for the ongoing numbering of our days as well. If longetivity didn't matter we wouldn't work so hard to live longer.

For Memaw, quality and quantity were inseparable. She was one of those believers who received in abundance both of the blessings expressed in Psalm 91:16: "I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation" (NLT).

So Ora Zimmerman Knies, may I be so blessed, and yes, let's be friends forever.

John Wooden - RIP

On June 4, 2010, John Wooden died a the age of 99 in Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center. He was named by his peers as the greatest team sport coach in American sporting history. Humble, selfless, caring, he won 10 NCAA national championships - something he never talked about - as coach at UCLA. He was a three-time All American at Purdue and won a national championship there as a player. He then coached high school and taught English for 11 years before entering the college ranks. During his tenure at UCLA, which began in 1948, he had four perfect seasons, had an 88-game winning streak, won 7 straight national championships, won 38 straight games in the NCAA tournament, was elected into the College Basketball Hall of Fame as both a coach and a player, and many other accomplishments.

But Wooden, a small-town country boy from Indiana never wavered in his values on the road to the bright lights of Tinseltown.

As a teacher, he began every basketball season by showing his players how to put their socks on the right way. He never talked to them about winning or losing; just living their lives with character. He designed a pyramid of success that he felt would make players victors not only on the court but in all of life. It included values like industriousness, loyalty, enthusiasm, initiative, alertness, poise, honesty, confidence, and other traits that were as much about being a good person as a good basketball player. As a coach, he didn't bully, he didn't cuss, he didn't run the most sophisticated systems. "He was really more like a parent than a coach," said Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

The theme he spoke of most is love and the great love his life was Nellie, his wife of 53 years. She was his first love and the only girl he ever kissed. After her death, he would sit down on the 21st of each month and write her a love letter that he would then leave on her pillow. Sports columnist Rick Reilly often asked him if he could use the letters as the basis of a book they could write together on making love last. Even decades after her death Wooden, with tears running down his cheeks, would say it was too recent and he needed more time

The Wizard of Westwood was an icon for coaches who are themselves icons. His players speak of him reverentially. Bill Walton said that some of Coach Wooden's quotes and sayings - Woodenisms - that he snickered at as a player are the words he has on his walls and has taught his own children.

Just a sample of Woodenisms that will endure beyond his death are:

Ability is a poor man's wealth.

Adversity is the state in which man mostly easily becomes acquainted with himself, being especially free of admirers then.

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

Consider the rights of others before your own feelings, and the feelings of others before your own rights.

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.

Don't measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability.

 Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. Courage is what counts.

If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?

If you're not making mistakes, then you're not doing anything. I'm positive that a doer makes mistakes.

It's the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.

 It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.

Material possessions, winning scores, and great reputations are meaningless in the eyes of the Lord, because He knows what we really are and that is all that matters.

Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.

John Wooden. RIP. 

Christmas reminds us that generosity brings joy to others—and ourselves

The simple blessings of Christmas are all around us - but in the hustle and bustle of the season we too easily miss them! That's the premise behind a new gift book, The Simple Blessings of Christmas, I wrote with my friends from Inspired Faith (part of Mac Anderson's Simple Truths gift company). As Christmas day approaches I am going to continue to excerpt a few of the 30 short chapters. You can also click here to view the inspirational "movie" that goes along with the book. Hope you enjoy! If you do, I would truly appreciate you sharing with your friends and family. Thanks.

The joy of brightening other lives, bearing others’ burdens, easing others’ loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of Christmas.
W. C. Jones

The Lord Jesus himself said: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
Acts 20:35

Jim and Della Young. A young couple just starting out in the world together and living in hard scrabble tenement in New York City that cost $8 per week. Furnished. Sure, they were poor, but they were in love so all was well—until the Christmas season rolled around.

Through shrewd bargaining with grocers and other shopkeepers, Della had managed to save money to buy a Christmas gift for Jim. Her problem was that you couldn’t buy much with $1.87. She was beside herself with tears. Jim had fared little better. But when he arrived home from work on Christmas Eve, he carefully carried a treasure he knew Della would adore, all wrapped in tissue and paper and tied with a string. But the only thing on Della’s mind was a gift she had for Jim. She could barely contain her excitement in anticipation of seeing the expression of joy on his face when he opened what she had found for him. Della’s pride was her hair: “rippling and shining like a cascade of brown waters. It reached below her knee and made itself almost a garment for her.” Jim’s pride was a gold watch that had been owned by his father and grandfather.

Jim’s gift to her was a set of combs, “side and back, that Della had worshipped long in a Broadway window. Beautiful combs, pure tortoise shell, with jeweled rims.” Della’s gift to Jim was a “platinum fob chain simple and chaste in design, properly proclaiming its value by substance alone and not by meretricious ornamentation—as all good things should do. It was even worthy of The Watch.”

All was wonderful except the small detail that Jim had sold his watch to buy Della’s combs—and Della had sold her hair to a wigmaker in order to buy his chain.

But in his classic short story, The Gift of the Magi, William Sydney Porter, better known to the world as O. Henry, wrote:

The magi, as you know, were wise men—wonderfully wise men—who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their gifts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. And here I have lamely related to you the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house. But in a last word to the wise of these days let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. O all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the magi.

The Christmas season is fun and exciting as we open presents—but it is even more joyful for the opportunity to share from our abundance with others.

the simple blessings of christmas: childlike wonder

The simple blessings of Christmas are all around us - but in the hustle and bustle of the season we too easily miss them! That's the premise behind a new gift book, The Simple Blessings of Christmas, I wrote with my friends from Inspired Faith (part of Mac Anderson's Simple Truths gift company). Over the next two weeks I am going to excerpt a few of the 30 short chapters. You can also click here to view the inspirational "movie" that goes along with the book. Hope you enjoy! If you do, I would truly appreciate you passing along a good word to your friends and family. They just might enjoy too! Thanks.

Simple Blessing #3

Christmas reveals the wisdom of childlike wonder.

Christmas! The very word brings joy to our hearts. No matter how we may dread the rush, the long Christmas lists for gifts and cards to be bought and given—when Christmas Day comes there is still the same warm feeling we had as children, the same warmth that enfolds our hearts and our homes.
Joan Winmill Brown

Jesus called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 18:2–4

Even though little Cindy Lou Who didn’t stop the Grinch from stealing Christmas, most Dr. Seuss experts still think it was her big brown eyes that first pierced the his heart and begin his personal transformation, even before he heard the whole community come out and sing from his icy hilltop home.

What are the characteristics of a Grinch?

Nothing showcases the heart of a Grinch better than cynicism. Looking at everyone and everything with jaded and jaundiced eyes. A true Grinch would never be satisfied to watch another person perform a good deed during the holidays, but would take time to wonder who that person thinks they are trying to impress.

Isolation is another surefire way of showing the world your inner Grinch. Getting together with family and friends can be too much of a hassle, can’t it? Why go to a special church service when you’ve had enough of crowds at the mall? And the neighborhood progressive dinner will conflict with a TV show you wanted to watch!

Then there’s a resentful spirit that hates to see others experiencing blessings in life. Such a small-spirited outlook declares one to be a top-tier Grinch.

But there’s more that goes into being a Grinch. Irritability. Short temper. Meanness. Making fun of others for their innocence and joy.

Now if you’ve had enough of being a Grinch, there is a cure if you’ve seriously been feeling like canceling Christmas for yourself—and everyone else—this year. It begins with humility. Not believing you are too sophisticated and cultured to stop and admire the tinsel and the toys. It continues with the words of Jesus to His followers when some thought the kids were being a nuisance and distracting them from grown-up concerns. He said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Matthew 19:14).

Lost the wonder of Christmas? Maybe you need to watch a child enjoying the season. Whatever it takes, spend some time with small kids this Christmas. Have some friends or family members with kids come over to decorate cookies. Take a family you know out on a Christmas light tour or to an outdoor Nativity scene. Or help an organization that delivers toys to needy children—and see if you can be part of the delivery team.

Kids approach Christmas activities with unabashed enthusiasm. Watching their excitement and outright glee over things as simple as sugar cookies and wrapping paper, you just might find your heart softening—or growing three sizes—and your cynicism melting. You’ll be filled with compassion for children and an appreciation for their ability to really celebrate. Best of all, what will replace your hard heart is a renewed sense of childlike wonder and joy.

the runaway pastor

I've worked in the publishing industry for more than 25 years now and have been blessed to have my hand on a number of bestsellers. I tried counting that exact number up the other day and I know I've missed a few - and maybe not accounted for some returns or remainder sales - but I think I've worked directly on at least 18 books that have sold more than a million units and somewhere close to 70 that have topped 100 thousand units. Okay, sounds like I'm bragging, but really, I want to make a point, which is: I have a fairly decent feel for what will work in the marketplace.

That's what surprised me so much about publisher response to a book I represented as an agent, The Runaway Pastor, by a friend from my college days. Responses were tepid at best - and there was definite resistance by some. A few thought it was written as a negative indictment of ministers, the ministry, and the church. One publisher even waggled a finger at me! LOL. I spoke with a few general publishers who weren't aware that anyone in America goes to church, so they weren't convinced there is a market.

I admit, I was a little worried when David first asked me to give it a read. I was afraid that I would find the material poorly written and would have to figure out a diplomatic way to tell him that. But the book was very well written, exceptionally well for a first time fiction author. But what I thought the book really had going for it was a raw - but kind - honesty that gave it a couple of amazing "hooks" for several audiences. Because one thousand ministers leave the ministry every month:

* I thought this book would strike a nerve with pastors - duh!
* I figured most regular church attenders have been impacted by this career exodus, and that would make it a book of acute interest.
* I assumed sociologists - particularly those who observe religious patterns in America - would find it fascinating.
* I was certain that professors at Bible colleges and seminaries - and others who provide academic and professional development for ministers - would consider this must reading for themselves and those they work with.
* I even suspected that some critics and skeptics of the church and Christianity might find the title intriguing.

Now I know the publishing industry is distressed and not as many books are being acquired - and new-author fiction has always been a high risk venture. But I still assumed this book proposal would sell quickly. I've got other projects that have been selling in short order. So when The Runaway Pastor didn't have a taker within three months, David and I got back together and decided I would put this out as a micro-publishing project under one of my imprint names. He made me nervous - again - when he said his wife Shelly could design the book cover. I've seen a lot of author-directed book covers in my day and many have been awful. But I think she did a bang up job!

So voila. The Runaway Pastor is now available on Amazon and I think it is going to do great over time. I think it may get picked up by a major publishing house. I think it will generate a lot of publicity. In fact, David got an extended note from one person who reviews books for ministers:

I read The Runaway Pastor word for word, cover to cover this weekend and as far as realistic fiction is concerned, the book is nearly too realistic. The book reads so well also, causing the reader, especially one who may be prone to run away from it all, to consider the outcomes of running, to consider the options of seeking help, to muster the courage to wake up and tend to his/her inner life, his/her marital life, his/her emotional life. The book is a wake up for the Church as well. To consider its expectations of pastors as real or hyper-unrealistic, to consider a pastors marriage as something to be cultivated, to consider a pastor's life as more precious than the goods and services the pastor offers. David Hayes, in my opinion, has a winner of a book which I hope helps pastors seek the help and guidance they need. The events surrounding Pastor Trent and his wife Natalie's brokenness are all too real.

I'm not going to give a spoiler on how the story ends here. Just let me say that this book is a great tale of loss and redemption. A very clever storyline. Always respectful of the church, the ministry, and a life of faith. By the way, David knows whence he writes of. No, he didn't run away from it all, but he did experience a significant bout of ministerial burnout - and survived it! In fact, he pastors a church today.

The nature of my business doesn't require that I give a sales pitches on this blog - so I'm not real good at this - but I would encourage many who read this to strongly consider ordering a copy of The Runaway Pastor from Amazon right now.

(Publishers who are thinking maybe they should take a look at this ... you know where to reach me! LOL)

college football still packs a punch

Baseball may be America's pastime but football is America's passion when it comes to sports. (I have a friend who has dubbed the summer sport as basebore. Wake me up when the world series starts.)

The NFL finished its preseason - and no one knows why they even held a preseason in the first place (unless it had something to do with money) - and keeps score and counts the games this coming weekend.

College football came out of the corner swinging last Thursday - literally if you check the video below - with Oregon visiting Boise State and losing on BSU's smurf-blue football field that makes TV screens beg for mercy. By now everyone in the world that watches ESPN highlights has seen the sucker punch thrown by a frustrated Oregon player at the end of the game as players were exiting the field. Not quite the punch CFB wanted thrown on a weekend dedicated, ironically, to sportsmanship. (Note: Now this is real irony, not just the bad luck and tragedy masqueraded as irony by Alanis Morissette in her song Isn't It Ironic?). But I digress. And despite a black eye administered to sportsmanship, there was plenty of on field highlights for football junkies who have been suffering withdrawal pains for the past eight months.



My Buckeyes played a less than impressive game against the Naval Academy - putting in the second string quarterback in the second quarter is not a recipe for maintaining momentum in what looked like an emerging blowout - but before the game, in the spirit of sportsmanship, the two teams ran onto the field together. This was a first ever happening in storied Ohio Stadium. All week leading up to the game head coach Senator Tressel had let it be known that he did not want servicemen being booed - a friendly tradition in Ohio and a couple hundred other venues each Saturday afternoon of CFB season - and, in fact, wanted Navy's players to be given a standing ovation. Apparently he didn't have total faith in his fan base so he set things up to insure the standing O. I don't know. We've booed the home team before, too.

Based on one week of results, the sports guru pundits are pretty sure who is really good and who is really bad already. They'll be wrong a fair amount of the time and by season's end express indignation that the season didn't unfold as they pronounced it would. (Note: Only a few of the pundits predict any more. Most now pronounce. Better ratings.)

Not surprising, Lou Holtz has already declared Notre Dame as national champions. The term "SEC speed" was used no less than 300 times on ESPN. And then a thousand more times once the games started. Oklahoma got upset by BYU and lost their Heisman winner QB, Sam Bradford, for an indefinite stretch of games. Michigan looked like the Wolverines again - maybe they've been practicing extra - and speaking of which, I am all for eschewing the tie and deciding games in overtime, but it doesn't mean I can't still hope and pray that when Michigan and Notre Dame play next week, "they" - maybe we do need the pundits on occasion - deem both teams losers after a 0-0 final score highlighted by 20 fumbles.

So who is going to win the national championship? And who do I think is going to be really good and bad this year? Rather than separate the sheep and the goats and impute or impinge character on the basis of winning, as a spectator, I'll hide behind the words of Teddy Roosevelt:

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotion, spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never tasted victory or defeat.

On that note, all I can say is "Go Bucks. Beat USC!"